A note for ADHD Mums

Most mums I work with have gone their whole lives without anyone naming what’s actually going on for them. They’ve just carried it. Survived it. Adapted to it. For decades.

They’ll tell me things like: “I’ve always felt different.” “I thought I was just weird.” “Everyone else seems to cope… why don’t I?” Or the really common one: “I’ve always felt like too much.”

Too sensitive. Too busy. Too emotional. Too much energy. Too chaotic. Too messy. Too forgetful. Just… too much.

So many ADHD mums have lived inside that story their whole life - that there’s something deeply wrong with them. That they just need to “try harder” or “be more organised” or “get their shit together”.

But then comes the moment everything shifts. It usually starts when their child is going through an ADHD assessment, and the questionnaires come home. If you are anything like me, you look at the questions and realise, “Holy shit. I do that.” “This is… me.”

Welcome to the club. And then cue lightbulb moment. It may be the first time in your entire existence that you’re not looking at yourself as a flawed human. Rather, you’re looking at yourself through the lens of a nervous system that’s been misunderstood your whole life. And that changes everything.

Once that door opens, it is VERY normal for ADHD mums to feel:

• overwhelmed

• exhausted

• deeply emotional

• unsure

• relieved

• confused

• validated

• scared

All at once. It’s a lot. Like… a lot.

Because now you’re carrying:

• your child’s needs

• their school challenges

• their emotions and meltdowns

• their dysregulation

• PLUS your own new layer of self-discovery

• PLUS the emotional load you’ve always carried silently

• PLUS the daily mental tabs — all 6,980,874,347,842 of them (and honestly, that number feels low)

And on top of ALL of that, you’re still trying to hold the family together, be a good mum, run a household, show up to work, and be emotionally available. It’s no wonder you’re burnt out.

Here’s what I want you to know - there is nothing wrong with you. I swear to God. Trust me. You are not “too much”. You are not failing. You are not a terrible mum/daughter/sister/wife/girlfriend/human. You are just about to discover that your brain has simply been working overtime for years without understanding or support.

Now that you know, things can change. And in the words of Maya Angelou, when you know better, you can do better.

The very first thing I want you to do is just breathe. When I say “just breathe,” I don’t mean it in the vague “go do yoga in a forest” way you see on Instagram.

I mean 30 seconds. Right where you are. With the body you have. Breathe for your nervous system.

Try this for 30 seconds:

In for 2. Hold for 2.Out for 2.

This simple act will tell your body that you are safe right now.  

This won’t fix everything, but it will start calming your physiology enough for you to think clearly again.

The next thing I want you to know is that you are not alone. If you’re an ADHD mum reading this and thinking:

“This is me. This has been me my whole life.” Here is what I want you to know:

You’re not imagining it. You’re not dramatic. You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re not failing. And you don’t need fixing. What IS happening is you are carrying more than most people will ever understand, AND now you're

beginning to fully understand and come home to yourself.

That is a MASSIVE, super big deal. Breathe. You are loved.

Stay rad.